There are two Marks in my political life, and, from what I can tell, they both hate me.
The first is Mark Penn who works for Hillary Clinton. He’s one of two attack dogs on Hillary’s campaign staff. If Terry McAuliffe isn’t available to beat up on me, they send in Mark.
Today he complained to reporters and told them that I can’t win the November election against John McCain because I can’t win the big states against Hillary. Fair enough. She won California, New York, Texas, Ohio and a few others. What Mark can’t figure out is that in all likelihood some of the Democrats who voted for Hillary in those states will also vote for me when I’m the Democratic nominee for President.
Duh, Mark.
The other Mark against me is one of the Secret Service agents that President Bush has assigned to me. His name is Mark. We never know their last names so we just call him Mark. Everywhere I go, Mark goes. It’s like a black man walking with a white shadow. I can’t go to the bathroom without Mark dogging behind me. I can get a stall to myself, but he hands me toilet paper under the door. One square at a time. He says regulations require it to be examined first. I carry my own toilet paper now.
It’s been two weeks since he gave me any toilet paper under the door. I’ll bet he thinks I stopped wiping.
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